


you can't be married (i'm trying to set you up)

by iam93percentstardust



Series: 1000 Ways to Fall in Love [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Professors, Established Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship, background clint/natasha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 00:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20165380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iam93percentstardust/pseuds/iam93percentstardust
Summary: Steve finally gets tired of Natasha trying to set him up on a date so he tells her that he’s married. It’s too bad she doesn’t actually believe him.





	you can't be married (i'm trying to set you up)

Steve isn’t terribly surprised when Natasha waltzes into his office and drapes herself over his desk, crushing the papers beneath her. This is an almost daily occurrence after all and sometimes even happens multiple times in a morning.

“I was grading those,” he says mildly, tugging the stack out from under her.

Natasha ignores him- as she always does- and waves an airy hand. “It’s a senior-level literature course. You’re going to pass them all anyway,” she dismisses.

“It’s a senior-level literature course with discussions,” Steve retorts. “I like to know what they’re thinking.”

“That’s easy. They’re thinking that it’s too early in the morning to thinking about the symbolism of the balrog or whatever.”

Steve eyes her. Normally, he wouldn’t mind her banter but he’s tired this morning after a long night spent reviewing these papers. He should have done them over the weekend but he’d been busy with a trip to the zoo with his niece.

“What do you want, Tasha?” He knows he probably sounds rude but it doesn’t seem to faze her at all as she promptly sits up like she was just waiting for him to ask.

“I want you to let me set you up on a date.”

Steve groans. “Not this _again_. Come on, what’s it gonna take it for you to believe me?”

She ignores him again. “I _can’t_ believe you. Everyone wants someone special in their life. Even grumpy old fogies like you.”

“I’m a year older than you.”

“Exactly. I’m happily married to Clint now so it’s high time you found yourself a wife. Or a husband. Whichever one you prefer.”

“A husband and I’m not going out on any dates.”

“Why not?”

Steve sighs heavily. They’ve had variations of this conversation for three years, since he started teaching at this university. It had been funny at first but now’s it’s getting old and tired and that’s what most likely makes him snap, “Probably because I find infidelity to be an unattractive quality in a partner.”

She rears back, scandalized, nearly slipping off the desk. For a moment, Steve thinks she’s got it and then she declares, in the most offended voice possible (which is pretty damn offended), “I’m not going to set you up with anyone _married_. Who do you think I am?”

Steve stares at her dumbfoundedly and then holds up his left hand, wiggling his fingers. “_I’m _married,” he states.

Natasha sniffs. “Don’t be silly, Steve. Of course you’re not. I’d know.”

“Well clearly you don’t. I’ve been married for seven years. What did you think I wore this ring for?”

She shrugs. “Same reason I used to- deters the students from asking you out,” she says simply.

Steve winces at the reminder that Natasha’s life is very different than his own. “I’m a white man, Tasha, not a woman. Students don’t hit on me.”

“You’re an _attractive _white man,” she points out. “They might.”

“They’re not.”

There’s a knock on his office door and he glances up. Tony pokes his head ‘round the corner, holding up a greasy bag. “You skipped breakfast this morning so I thought I’d pick us up sandwiches from Flo’s.” He waves brightly at Natasha. “Hey, Nat. I didn’t get you a sandwich. Didn’t know you’d be here.”

“It’s fine,” Natasha says imperiously. “I’ll steal some of yours.”

“Yeah, that sounds like you,” Tony says, passing two of the sandwiches to Steve and keeping one for himself and Natasha. “How was your weekend?”

“Clint and I had very athletic sex,” she says and then preens when Steve chokes on his food. “How was yours?”

“I went with Steve and his niece to the zoo so, between the three of us, I think I got the better deal.” He passes the sandwich to her.

Her eyes narrow thoughtfully as she chews and swallows and then she hums. “Tony, did you know that Steve’s married?” she asks.

Tony pauses for just a moment. A triumphant look passes across Natasha’s face but then Tony says casually, “You didn’t?”

Natasha’s jaw drops open. It’s such a rare look for her that Steve doesn’t even say anything when Tony looks smug. “How long have you known?” she hisses.

Tony shrugs. “I was there at the wedding.”

She whips her head back to Steve. “You told _him_?”

“Of course I told Tony,” Steve says, warming to the game Tony’s playing. “Tony was an important part of the ceremony. I didn’t even know you then.”

“You have to tell me who.”

“You really don’t know?” Tony asks, not even bothering to hide the glee in his voice. “Well, they are very private. I think only their _closest _friends would know about it.”

Natasha shrieks, points between the two of them, and says, “_I’m _Steve’s best friend and _I’m_ going to figure it out!”

“I would expect nothing less,” Tony calls as she stomps out. He turns back to Steve, obviously dismissing her from his mind. “You weren’t in bed when I went to sleep last night. You weren’t there when I got up. I didn’t get my good morning kiss. Everything okay?”

Steve smiles and leans across the desk to gently kiss Tony. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “These essays are killing me.”

When he pulls back, Tony’s eyes are still closed, a blissful smile playing across the corners of his mouth. “I could help you grade them,” he offers.

Steve snorts. “Now there’s a FERPA violation if I ever heard one.”

Tony pouts and Steve can’t resist kissing the lines from his face. “I just missed you,” Tony says quietly. “I barely saw you this weekend.”

“I know,” Steve replies. “How does dinner at the Golden Spoon sound?”

“Mmm, can we get dessert?”

“What, I’m not enough for you?”

Tony laughs and then glances back at the door. “Think she’ll figure it out soon?”

“It’s _Natasha_,” Steve says. “It’ll be fine.


End file.
